A Birth Story Reflection
Hi Caroline.
Today it's 4 weeks since our baby boy Benjamin was born. It has been an amazing month, but also busy, especially since I have been breastfeeding a lot to get the supply up. But here is our birthing experience finally. It is the first time I have had time to write it down, and since the experience for me was absolutely amazing, I needed to get all of the details down - so sorry that it is very long! :) Feel free to share this with the rest of the class. By now all the babies should be born, and I hope everyone had a great birth and have happy and healthy little ones.
My birth story.
After a super easy pregnancy, I was starting to get impatient as we passed the 40 weeks mark and nothing seemed to be happening. I went for long walks, ran on stairs, ate cinnamon (good excuse to bake cinnamon rolls ;) and basically tried every other trick in the old wives tales handbook. But baby Noordeloos did not seem to want to come out, - ever.
On Tuesday April 2nd, I was 41 weeks, and since I had an appointment with my midwife for a general check-up, I decided to ask her if a membrane sweep might set something off. (I was set for an induction on Friday the fifth of April, since in Denmark they max let you go to week 42, and I was hoping to avoid using drugs to start labor). She said it rarely makes a big difference, but in about 30% of the cases slowly can start something, and she was willing to try it with me. When she swept the membranes she told me I was 1 cm dilated and she increased that to 2 cm with her fingers. She also warned me, that I would get some uncomfortable Braxton Hicks due to the sweep. And then Marco and I went on our way home. We are spending the time here in Denmark in a summerhouse about 45 minutes’ drive from the hospital, and on the way home the Braxton Hicks started coming fairly strong. I told Marco – Wow. She wasn’t kidding about those Braxton Hicks, - they’re quite uncomfortable… When we came home I decided to take a warm bath to relax a little and soothe the Hicks, and then I tried to take a nap on the couch. The Braxton Hicks kept coming, and Marco could hear me moaning a little when they were really “biting”. In the end he demanded that I started timing them. I thought he was being a little overprotective, - since they A) didn’t hurt that bad and B) – I was supposed, “to know” when I was in labor. Well. Turned out the contractions were 1 minute long and between 4 and 5 minutes apart. – So Marco made me call the hospital. At this point I was still totally convinced, that I was having Braxton Hicks. I could talk through most of the contractions, and although they would “bite” – I didn’t think they hurt that bad.
But after hearing my story and hearing me go through a couple of contractions on the phone – the midwife at the hospital wanted us to come in. Before we left I told Marco to pack extra stuff, so we could stay a few days in an apartment closer to the hospital – I was certain that we would be sent home.
45 minutes later we arrived at the hospital, and after I was examined the midwife looked at me and said: “You’re good at this, you’re 7 cm’s already”. I was honestly not prepared for that at all. I had already been explaining her, that the contractions were still coming, but I didn’t think they were very long or particular uncomfortable. This was at 5.30 pm – and around 6 pm we were set in our room at the L&D department. I sat down on a birthing ball – and we decided to pull out a deck of cards. So when the midwife walked in again, she found Marco and I in the middle of a card game, and whenever I had a contraction I started bouncing on the ball.. – I’ll be honest – she laughed ;)
At around 6.40 we heard another woman giving birth – and she was screaming… “I want to die!” “I can’t do this anymore…” and we giggled a little nervously. I think I even said something like – “I’m glad I’m not feeling like her”… Little did I know what was coming!
At 6.55 my water broke. I had three strong contractions, the first ones I really thought hurt, and then pop! The water broke. Then things started moving fast. I immediately started having strong contractions coming one after the other with almost no break in between. I also immediately felt like I had to push. The midwifes came in - at 7pm the shift changed, so the “old” midwife came in to fill in the new midwife. I heard the first midwife say: “This is Vibe, she is 7 centimeters and has been playing cards since she came in, so I predict that this will be a quick and easy birth.” Then I said: “Listen – I feel like pushing and I also have to throw up!” And then the show began. I threw up a little bit, but otherwise stayed on my feet walking and working through the contractions.
Marco was a champ birth partner, he was close all the time and took all his cues from me. I mostly needed him to just stay close and sometimes put a hand on my back. I basically just needed to know he was there. After the water broke I was checked again, and I was at 8 centimeters. But I could feel my body working, and actually told the midwife that I could feel myself opening. The midwife was amazing – she let me work through my contractions on my own, telling me I was doing great and keeping her distance. Every now and again they checked the heartbeat of the baby – still while I was standing up and moving around.
After about 30 minutes she told me to get back on the bed, so she could see how dilated I was. And by then I was fully dilated and ready to push, so she just looked at me and said “Ok. Now you’ll just take your clues from your body and push when you feel ready”. All I knew at that point was that I needed to get OFF that bed. I first tried to get on all fours, but the contractions were too strong for me to turn around. So I said – “I need to get off this bed, - I can’t stay here”. And my amazing midwife must have sensed that, because while she checked me, she had her assistant prepare a birthing stool, and she suggested we’d use that.
Marco and the midwife helped me off the bed, and Marco was placed in a chair behind the stool, so he could support my back and hold my hands. And by 7.40pm it was time to push. It HURT. But it was also amazing. I literally just had to hang on and let my body tell me what to do and when to do it, and feeling how the primal instincts took over and feeling my body work was for me, as super empowering experience. The midwife was sitting on a small stool in front of me, and her assistant was next to her and she checked the heartbeat between contractions. They were both great. I was quite loud when I pushed (apparently I’m NOT the quiet type, when I’m in pain). And I remember saying between two contractions: “I didn’t think I would be this loud”. And the assistant replied: “Well you don’t have to” haha.
After 23 minutes of pushing baby Benjamin Cornel is Bregendahl Noordeloos was born. He came out with a healthy scream and was brought directly up on my belly. This was for Marco one of the most amazing moments during delivery, - because he saw an instant switch in me, from screaming birth machine, to instantly focused on out boy. It was fantastic! Benjamin and I were moved to the bed, where I then delivered the placenta, and where Marco could cut the cord. After the midwife had finished with me (I had two superficial tears) she left. And we had 1 ½ hours of bonding time with Benjamin, before she came back in to weigh and measure him.
Ben was born at 8.03, and he weighed 3640 grams and was 52 centimeters long. After the measurements, we were moved to a “patient hotel”, where the three of us spent the next three nights, giving us space to bond as a family, and at the same time the security of having trained midwifes and nurses help us getting started with breast feeding and ready to answer any other questions we had. Friday April 5th, we left the hospital with Benjamin after he had been cleared to go home. It was a bit scary leaving the security of the hospital, but Ben has been such an easy kid, that the transition to home has been amazing too.
Only thing issue has been establishing a proper supply of breast milk, but at four weeks he is now 4 kilos and 58 centimeters, so he is growing well and my supply seems to have settled at a good level. I have no doubt that the Lamaze class (along with an amazing midwife) helped us getting through this birth so easily. I never needed any medication and was very aware of how each contraction was a good thing, and something I wanted to work with and not against – so thank you Caroline and Lindsey!
